New evidence suggests that postpartum depression is no longer just a condition experienced by new mothers. It may also affect new fathers in much the same way. Postpartum depression in new fathers is a relatively new concept, perhaps coming to light thanks to a growing acceptance of the full range of emotional experience that men are capable of.
Society as a whole has traditionally embraced the idea of the strong male figure with a narrow emotional range. Men now have increasing freedom to admit their feelings on a wide range of issues, including those that our own fathers and grandfathers wouldn’t have dared discuss with others , including men’s postpartum depression.
Paternal postnatal depression in not a new phenomenon, although awareness of it is. More light has been shed on this in recent times thanks to increasing social acceptance of men’s emotions. Similar to the feelings that new mothers so often go experience following birth, men’s postpartum depression can strongly affect the entire family. In a recent interview on “The Mommy-Muse Is In: Empowering Your Journey into Motherhood,” men’s health specialist Dr. Will Courtney shared this: “So often, mothers and fathers expect this experience of “baby bliss” that everyone suggests parenting is going to be like. Then, suddenly, this screaming, helpless infant is in their laps and they don’t know what to do to calm this baby or soothe it. Suddenly, things start feeling a lot more difficult than they ever expected.”
For both sexes, parenthood is a life-altering event. Couples are turned into threesomes in the short amount of time that it takes the baby to be born. Although most men report feeling satisfied with being a father, they also report that making this transition can be quite daunting. In its most severe state, men’s postpartum depression (also known as Paternal Post-Natal Depression) may necessitate help from a mental health professional who is sensitive to the needs of new fathers and understands the condition.
Men typically are well-skilled at concealing their postpartum depression. They may, or may not, show any of the traditional signs that a new mother does, such as loss of interest, crying, and general sadness. Although a new father may attempt to “keep up appearances,” the best clue that he might have an underlying problem is found by being alert to things that appear to be “just not right” in regards to his normal behaviors.
Men may also try to avoid parenting altogether, according to Dr. Courtney. “I’m hearing a lot from new dads about the experience of not being able to tolerate being around the baby. They can’t stand the baby’s cries, the screaming; they say it makes them crazy. Or, they can’t stand to smell the baby, or to even see it or hold it. Typically, men feel horribly guilty about feeling that way, and also very confused because this is not what they were told to expect with the birth of their child. All they really know to do is to try to get away from the thing that is kind of making them feel all of these things. They end up spending as much time as they can at the office.”
Before, during, or after the pregnancy, both new fathers and new mothers can begin to plan for possible postpartum depression by: Understanding the condition from both the father’s and the mother’s point of view, and accepting that postpartum depression is NOT just an “old wives’ tale.” For those new parents or parents-to-be with a history of depression, beginning mental health counseling before the baby arrives is recommended. Open up lines of communication within the couple’s relationship. Many couples have problems when it comes to communicating their feelings with one another. Couple’s counseling during pregnancy may be necessary to better understand the issues you might have and develop more confidence in the new partnership you are about to enter. Although it is not practical to resolve all of your financial problems before having children, be aware that many of the problems that families experience are related to their finances. Establish a working budget before, during, or after the pregnancy in order to alleviate some of the stressors in the family. Establish a reliable network of support that you can turn to when you need a hand, whether it is with babysitting, shopping, or other duties.
Perhaps the most important bit of advice that can be given to new fathers and mothers when it comes to postpartum depression is to understand that it is a completely natural condition, nothing to be ashamed of. Counseling and treatment of postpartum depression is available. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a mark of intelligence and the sign of a truly caring parent.
