As confirmed by the American Counseling Association’s, the most prevalent theme running through our country’s failed marriages is lack of communication. Since we as Americans love to communicate, it seems odd that our communication is failing with the most important person in our life. This fact results in our country divorce rate being 50%, and holding. If you are on your second or third marriage, increase the rate.
The beginning of a lack of communication between husband and wife is usually the inability to talk about the little things, which turn into bigger things when frustration and anger is built up. Bigger issues are more difficult to resolve than smaller ones.
The key to a healthy strong relationship is using communication to work out your issues and resolve problems. The following are keys to building strong communication skills with your spouse:
1. Stay quiet and focused while truly listening to what each other is saying.
2. Listen to the actual words and underlying feelings and emotions.
3. Try to understand the other side of the argument, this doesn’t mean you have to agree.
4. Rephrasing what the other person is telling you will ensure a clear understanding.
5. Show the other person that you are listening to their words as well as underlying feelings. The result is the validation of the other persons emotions.
6. Show your sincerity by making yourself aware of nonverbal messages you may be sending your partner. Facial expressions and tone of voice are tell tale signs.
7. Tell the other person how you are feeling and what they are doing wrong, by using I statements.
8. Let the person know you would like to discuss things ahead of time. This will make it seem less like an attack, and let them get their thoughts together.
9. Set aside time to talk without interruptions from life or children.
10. Try to stay on topics, by keeping your discussion on the topic at hand.
Using these helpful tips will be the best steps toward communicating on a level that is more effective. This, in turn, can save your marriage.Keeping your discussions in the present, by avoiding rehashing the past is vital. You need to focus on solutions and work toward them together.
See for yourself how the Light Your Fire Program has helped thousands solve their marriage problems. This program is an effective alternative to obtaining marital counseling. As seen on The View and Oprah.
